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Sonntag, 14. Oktober 2012

Eavesdropping

I'm in my room in front of the stove. Through the vent I can hear everything that's going on in the next room. They're fighting. I hear a male voice, a low female voice and another high female voice. I think she's talking to her parents. I think she's crying.

Waves of words... the discussion moves back and forth, louder, shriller... her tears give her strength, but it sounds like it's difficult to breathe. It's not the first time. I overheard these discussions for weeks and weeks now. When I move away from the kitchen I can still hear them. Trailer scores will only smother it for a second, but then when my storm comes to rest, hers will rush back into my ears.

It's exhausting. Why are they fighting? I remember fighting with my parents when I was still living at home, but that was almost 6 years ago... I couldn't possibly imagine a good reason why I would fight with them today. I think it's almost over now... the fighting is less intense... if I'm exhausted listening to them, how exhausting must it be for them. What a waste of energy. What a waste of time.

One day they'll hear of someone suddenly getting sick or watch a really great movie that makes them think for days afterwards. They'll think about impermanence for a while.... maybe even think about death. Maybe for a split second they'll realize what a waste of precious life-time it is to get mad at one another... it's something I think about every day. I still need to to learn all these things. How to lose an ego that wasn't even there to begin with?

Fighting's getting louder again.

Weird.

Now everything's quiet.

I think she hung up.

S.M

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