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Samstag, 27. April 2013

Light


It's the fire alarm and late at night it looks like the earth from far away. Just a tiny, little star .... so insignificant. But I can't fall asleep and so I'm staring at it for hours. Another small red light is blinking every 30 seconds or so. I try to count the seconds in between each interval, but that doesn't help me either.

I wonder whether this memory is important or not. I wonder if I'll forget this moment, staring at a blinking light surrounded by nothing. I've been staring at it every single night for the last 4 years. So much has happened since then ... and all the while that light just keeps blinking on and on...

The circles around my eyes are getting bigger each day.They keep staring at me every morning while I brush my teeth. And a part of me is glad that it's early, because there's so much stuff to do and I love doing it. But at the same time something doesn't quite fit, something is off. How can this be? I'm so convinced that an external world is just a reflection of an internal universe. Like the earth from far away.

I blink and then it swallows me whole. Just like a train of thought rushing down on me, a domino effect that makes my feet touch the ground and the sand between my toes feels great.

S.M



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